Friendship…

She wondered why friendships were difficult.   She felt alone, isolated and left out.  Of course this is a challenge for us all at different times.  Wanting others to like us, welcome and accept us.  So we can love ourselves more. 

I took her deep into a guided practice.  Checking along her timeline how she felt and behaved at different times in her life.  She was happy and playful.

Her happy place was in the wise grandmother tree.  Here she could be carefree and rest. 

Then when she went into the places where she wanted to make friends, she noticed in her body she felt nervous and afraid.  She also felt misunderstood and unsupported.  She was small, hiding and unseen.  

You see she has been giving herself away.  Giving her happiness away.   Wanting others out there to fill her up from the inside.  Finding safety in external connection. 

When we walk around empty the world can’t see us.  We are invisible. Or we project a smallness and others aren’t interested. We want others to fill up the missing parts to make us whole.  Walking around with an empty cup needing others to contribute.  Neediness pushes others away too. 

But the right away is… to take care of yourself wholly and completely from the inside first.  Your feelings matter first.  You matter first.  Understand yourself.  Hold yourself.  Support yourself fully.  Be the one you are waiting for.   Look after yourself.   Adore yourself.  Love yourself.  Be proud of yourself.  Be so full on the inside that you radiate your unique light. 

It is something we all learn along the way.

Finding authenticity, virtuous friends and connection.

Finding your tribe.  

To do this, find your tribe in yourself first. 

Hold yourself steady within.  First.  Always.

Grounded embodied connection. 

Instead of finding wholeness through others.  

Find it in yourself. 

Be proud.  Be seen. 

Choose you first. 

We each have relationship archetypes.  

Would you like to know yours?  

Do you find safety in closeness or distance?

Do you find safety in standing your ground or fleeing?

Do you find safety in shutting down or opening up?

Do you find safety in playing small or rising up?

Learn how to take care of your inner child.

It is something you will tend to for the rest of your life.

The key to making relationships work.